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Monday, 1 February 2016

Describing a Character

Writing Excercises | Moose

For the next 13 weeks, though maybe more depending on whether I feel like I need to work on it more, I will be developing my ability to build a character. I want them to be believable, natural and relatable. Here's a starter:

With a deep sigh, the young blonde woman fell backwards onto the rest behind her which acted as a makeshift seat for the rest of the journey. After tipping her head back and letting out another sigh, blowing air towards the low ceiling of the train, she leans forward and begins to rub the front of her legs, just above the knee, offering a massage that she hoped would ease the pressure of the long, arduous day at work. She straightened up, and was now sat in a more naturally comfortable position, and as a result, her mind began to wander into another world, away from the stuffy train which had now welcomed more people aboard, relieved about the end of their long days at work. By the vacancy in her eyes, staring at a blank space ahead, it was clear that there was no basis behind her thoughts, and that her mind was lost in the transition from hard work to a glimpse of freedom; in fact, it was not inconceivable that her mind was completely empty, without a single thought. Further re-iterating that she was too exhausted for thoughts, her eyelids gently began to close, before opening with a similar speed, as though the world existed only in a slow motion. This was succeeded by a closing of her eyelid again, though this time she had greater trouble opening them back up the second time, only managing to through an exertion that made sure that she would wake up, and her sky blue irises were now full of life again. Looking around to make sure that she was awake, the woman flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder, as though now seeking attention, before reaching beneath her legs, into her black, inexpensive, handbag. She pulled out her large touch-screen phone, which was protected by a shiny red case, and, to ensure that her mind would not fall victim to her tiredness, began endlessly scrolling through it.

Let me know what you think? 
What important things did I miss out, or need to work on more? 
Are you convinced that this is a real person?

Comment below. 


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