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Tuesday, 2 February 2016

Describing a Character Pt. 2

Writing Excercises | Moose

Continuing on my theme of describing a character. Here are two more, both from my train journey though this did make me realise that I need to make more of an effort to describe people that are not on their train journey home: they are normally tired and looking forward to sitting back and relaxing in their homes where they are more comfortable. On that point, however, maybe it does suggest a lot about the world we are in: that we accepting of working a job that we do not enjoy. Maybe I'm also looking too much into it. Either way:

His eyes we closed, and just by looking at him, you could tell he was in his own world of peaceful bliss. The music that was quietly emanating from his black headphones, which were hanging over the crown of his bald head, allowed him to escape from the incessant hissing of the train as it sped past the various trees and buildings, sometimes other trains, that surrounded the tracks. The man's stern face, with wrinkles around his eyes, displayed a resignation to the tough characteristics that

At this point the man got off the train, and I was unable to describe him any more. Does this give you an idea of this person?

To some, the long journey home from work is a blessing, a welcome escape from the labours of work. This young woman, in her long brown coat, a similar design to all of the adverts in the popular clothes shop designed for the modern working woman, exemplified this need to escape. While some, enamoured by their labour, will work until late, and may even complete their tasks on the train, she has escaped to this train, the same one as every single day, which is the first one that she can get at the official end of workday that is stipulated in her contract; and with her head firmly fixed on her tablet resting on her lap, she was happy to escape even further, using the sound of the online show to distance herself from the train journey which served as the final reminder of the her tough labours at work. Sure, you could argue that she looked the part, with her coat, paired with the professional looking black skirt, tights and shoes. The fact, however, that her hair did not complete the look, her blonde streaks were brushed straight and almost looked greasy, was the final proof that she did not feel as though she belonged to the world that she had inculcated herself within. To an observant person, it was clear: she wanted something different. No one can know exactly what that something is, but it was a little too obvious.

I probably need to work on describing the look of the person a bit more. I'm making assumptions based on what I seeing, but not allowing the image to develop that picture. 

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Let me know!


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